cranky (cranky) wrote,

spring is becoming summer

i just took salo out to pee in the front yard and looked up into the night sky to see birds - lots and lots of birds circles and landing high in nearby trees. what kind of birds are those? are they the ones who nest in front of my bedroom window with their strange little squeaking chirp? i laid on my back on the warm sidewalk and tried to count them as they flew in circles. salo brought me back to reality when i noticed his telltale cat-shitting-eating snort.

today is jessica's birthday. she and i went to a quiet dinner at hyde park. i told her about costa rica. she said she likes to stay at our house and take care of our dogs. i love family. we stopped by the grocery and were home by 7:45. we are older than we used to be.

we're going to costa rica in august! i need to get passports for the kids and be sure i have plenty of xanax for the "scenic drive through the mountains."

my mom hurt her back and has been incapacitated since mothers day. i've driven out there a few times to help. once i had to make two trips because i got the wrong medicine on the first trip. as i was leaving her house for the final leg of my 100 mile adventure i was hit by this wall of grief out of the blue. my dad. he would have driven 100 miles to help me without asking a question. that kind of willingness is hard to come by, and i had it with him. i was struck with the realization that i'm going be that for the people in my family. i'm the one who drives 100 miles on a regular tuesday night to help people i love. which is pretty much ok, but i feel like all of this stuff that comes with adulthood comes too soon, and without any negotiation. i don't think i'll ever stop feeling pissed that my dad was yanked away from us so early.

anyway, summer is a moment away. cora graduates preschool thursday night then on to kindergarten. but first, some good lazy summer-paced living, lots of swimming, yoga, snow cones, and watermelon, the texas coast, and of course, costa rica.

my life is very good. and i am grateful.
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